the rowdies 5.ow!!!

MTV roadies 5.0... Bakar (read stupidfuck) goes international.

I fished this out from roadies ka original website... there's a forum dedicated to raghu. Some maniacs keep it alive. Read it just for the love of language:

+ how i attained next roadies interview (whatever i say i do!!!!!)
hello sir me Brahmananda Samal and i want to live roadies life. can i know when you will find your next roadies after roadies 5.0 . so please mail me and definately i will go for inerview and will live as roadies. can i get your canact number please. Don't think that i will negotiate with you for me to be a roadies. No i am not that kind of boy. i think what you want in a roadies and what your aim to make someone roadies that i will complete. bye take care. Raghu Bhaiya.

Here's another one...

+ i wanna next rodies
hi,
sir i want to be part of rodies not beause this is more popular in all over world beause this is right way to show myself best and what i am looking for, so tell me when next rodies happen, i hope u will read this give me right information, thinking you sir

Stop laughing re.... never hurt a roadies fan ke "scent-iments"

Roadies .. apparently India's longest reality show. Only ppl who are tough, cool and adventurous can be on this show (really??). Let me elaborate... roadies live on different part of planet. These words don't mean what they generally do to other ppl like you n me... losers, suckers n wusses. For a roadie
cool means having a fake accent, wearing jeans below their a$$holes
tough means rough n rude, innovative at abusing
n adventurous means having casual sex (for chicks) n being a jerk enough to blackmail enough your ex (for guys).



Roadies audition - thousands of people gather outside audition halls. They filled up forms and were led into GD rooms. Interestingly though not a single soul was interested in group discussion. It was like mass screaming workshop. It was a competition to see who can shout more, whoever does gets the cake (metaphorically) i.e. passes on to round 2.



Round 2 you get to meet a baldy villian and a sad VJ. They have some issues... maybe they suffered from mother's attention deficiency syndrome (M.A.D.D.) when kids. They make participants to do stuff which otherwise wud be thought of as embarassing. Roadies should be able to stand on their head, act like angry gorillas and so on. Raghu takes special interest in love life of participants. Maybe it helps in analyzing mental compatibility of participants... (huh nice!!...). He presses them for details till they are demented. After all this, they start abusing them. Nikhil starts acting like a gorilla, shouts at times and likes throwing around cold drink bottles. Raghu on the other hand is much classier. He grabs them by collar and abuses them right in their ears. Unfortunately most of it is beeped. They have arranged for someone to press profanity buzzer (read to sound a beep) whenever Raghu goes off board. The TRP ratings of the show increases exponentially with the no of beeps in each episode ironically.



After all the mishandling n abusing across the country, 14 people were selected to be on the show. They are supposed to do some tasks while on a roadtrip across the country. Yuk!! sounds boring... doesn't it ? So they script the episodes and make participants to bitch at each other's back. Girls can tug each other's hair if they want n call each other sluts, bitches n whatever else is applicable. Guys n can punch each other otherwise calling each other Bhen&^$^# and Madar&^$%# will also suffice. Then there's chemistry between guys n gals, guys n guys, n gals n gals.. ha cant think of any other combination. Participants vote out each other until n likewise till there's only one left.

There are no rules for the game... Whatever The baldy says is the rule.

Take a tawa (frying pan)... cut small peices of amazing race, grate some fear factor, add extra spice n salt and deep fry. Lo!! you got roadies. Nothing really innovative about tasks participants are to perform.

Nevertheless... after the participants have proved their mettle across india, n even abroad this time (yup... next time roadies international venue - Euthopia, Zambia and Phillipines) emerges one real roadie. He gets to take away a bike and some cash. Later he can work in a chinese restaurant or open up a dhaba or open tea/paan stall. How Kewl!!!. [for the record 4.0 winner is working as chef in chinese restaurant n the rumoured winner of 5.0 supposedly wants to open a dhaba].

By the time i finished drafting this... roadies 5.0 came to an end. Winner's dad died of heart attack the same day out of excitement. Found it funny... thought should share with u.

Giving it a thought... where are those days when ppl used to read to kill time. N then came the idiot box. Still there were times when it helped educate ppl along with help them kill time... But now we compromise on our regular chores to sit in front of this idiot box. There's a whole new generation coming up which eats, sleeps, craps in front of TV. They'll be called tube junkies....

Salute to the advent of this new era, noone should ever get bored said God n descended on earth a television. Then there were television series like roadies...

Long live roadies.... who does not want some cheap entertainment

Insanity redefined...

21 yrs of my life (ya m not 16 any more) i met so many ppl... n some i thought were pretty insane. But then i met this guy... Manoj Sharma.

I was in Baroda last summers for training n there i met Manoj. Well, formal introduction... He works for Indian Oil Corporation Limited, Barauni - Baroda (same company as my dad's), Instrumentation engineer, manufacturing department. Anyways there are legends about him... here are some.

We met first at Brahma's. Sachin came over with a bottle of vodka. "Arre, wy didn't you temme earlier, main aayaa ek minute mein" and with this Manoj dashed out n few minutes later he was back sporting a t shirt which said "Vodka - connecting people". He became more n more interesting as alcohol got absorbed in his bloodstream. Few pegs later he didnt have much idea wat he was talking about (as if he did at other times... ). Piyush did not drink but used to hang out anyways n gave us company with a sorry bottle of coke. We urged him to have one small peg but as we expected, he refused. N then Manoj had to say something ... "Yaar piyush, sahi hai tu pita nahin hai. Ekdum gandu cheez hoti hai... pata nahin log kyun peete hain". That was when i got the feel how it wud be to hang out with this guy.

He got his house go up in flames once and later almost got it drowned... read on.

After dinner Sachin n i walked upto his quarter just to drop in a hi. But we see that there's water pouring out from a pipe from his balcony (he lived on first floor). Everyone in that block is standing out... faces red n nostrils flared. "Do you know where is manoj?" enquired someone who unfortunately resided in quarter just below manoj's. "You know there's water seeping into my kitchen. Manoj probably didnt care enough but he has left a tap open somewhere in his quarter. My wife can't cook you know... wat is this yaar. This is not the first time this is happening. Tum abhi call karo use". "Oh" sachin replied with a naughty grin (he always had that on his face... even while he was sleeping. Probably it was a facial defect). We call manoj to discover he's watching a movie in inox...
"arrey seems like your quarter is flooded, did you keep a tap on or something"
"Kya malum yaar... wy do you care."
"Everyone in your block is gonna kill you... come back A.S.A.P"
"Mad or wat... do you realize i bought movie ticket for 150 bucks.. do i look like i'm gonna come back for that"

Everyone heard that... sachin was kind enough to put the call on speaker.
After that manoj tried calling some of his frenz who allegedly had spare keys to his quarter but amazingly all of them had lost it.
Manoj's neighbours were no less than dragons today... but nevermind. Manoj returned at 11 in night after finishing his movie. Heard later that he had some interesting conversation with his neighbours till 1 AM.
Manoj tried explaining to his neighbours that he was doing dishes last night (liar!! he was too lazy to cook at home... he ate in bachelor's mess. wat dishes??). And apparently tap ran out of water n he left the soiled dishes n probably might have forgotten about turning off the tap.
There was water everywhere in his quarter... you could see things floating around in his living room. Amazing scene... Manoj was sweating managing the flood n sachin was busy taking snaps from his camera. Rare moments... say jeez.

Then there's the legend about him when he got his quarter up in flames. He was a big time smoker, 6-7 packs/day were usual. He liked to lie in his bed like a lazy buffalo n fagged, blowing jets of white smoke on the face of his brand new AC (thank god ACs cant get cancer..) while switching channels watching exactly nothing. He had put a small carton by the edge of his bed. He was too lazy to go buy an ash tray or even a trash bin for that matter. He used to put out his buts on table n threw the buts into carton. Table's sun-mica top had cigg burns all over n when his parents visited him he explained his mother (abt the table n its fucked up top) that on diwali nite he had put diyas onto the table n accidentally he spilled oil n it caught fire... how smart that one?. Anyways one fine evening as usual he had his last cigg before dinner n went off to mess. Moments later he gets a call from sachin "Tere ghar mein aag lagi hai shayad". U could see flames thru the glass panes of his window. Manoj - "Yeh koi mazaak karne ka waqt hai, ruk jaa m having my dinner... wait outside my house i'll be there in 5 mins". By the time he came back half the colony was there below his quarter watching it cough out thick black smoke out of one of the ventilators.
Later, when the fire was put out it was quite a scene in there. His computer monitor had melted half way. His washing machine had bulged coz of the heat like a pregnant lady's belly. His refrigerator had become pale yellow. Walls n ceilings were covered with black soot n couch was non existent now except for some rags n burnt wood. Tho the bedroom survived fire. For the record, he still has that computer with half a monitor. He still uses that refrigerator n washing machine.

He always adressed me like "Oye hero" whenever we bumped into each other. But i knew better... i later discovered he could never remember my name.

We once made him treat us desserts at a 4 star restaurant. It so happened that he was getting desperate to go buy himself a pack of ciggs as he had run out of them. We told him the fastest way out of the restuarant was if he cleared the check. N guess he did...

Last day of my stay at baroda he comes to my house hands me a gunny bad full of stuff "keep this... i'll take it back later, or just do away with it. My parents are coming tomorrow". Later i was to discover that gunny bag had a bottle of whiskey, magazines n lot of dvds. I had no way of finding out wat was in those dvds as i didnt have a comp there then, but you must have guessed it already. My farewell gift to Bhramha was a bottle of whiskey n some dvds.

An yr later after my training i.e. yesterday i visited his profile on orkut n arrived to a startling revelation.. HE GOT MARRIED. I congratulated him in his scrapbook n sent him a teaser "Seeing you married and happy is reassuring... if you got married then maybe even i can find myself a gal... lol"