Thursday, November 1

I Burp and Burp loud, Do you mind??

Is it okay to burp in Indian culture?? Absolutely, If you eat at my place and dont burp I am gonna get offended. My mom would be worrying herself sick just thinking "Did he eat well?? Khaana kam toh nahin pada, hope they were not shying and all". So yes, it is okay if you burp in India, we almost expect you to.

My naani (mom's mom) is an excellent cook and whenever she visited us, she would cook awesome delicacies, and boy oh boy you could chew your fingers by mistake at times. Woh meri maa ki bhi maa hai .. rishte mein hai nahin .. culinary skills mein bhi. So when I was a kid I would gorge at whatever she made and then when I was done should would pat me at back lightly till i burped and asked "Dhawww  hua??"(prounced as dow of dow jones).

It is mandatory if you go to eat at someone's place in Punjab, that you burp after you are done eating. Well these days people say its rude and all, but in good old days if you eat at someone's place and dont burp, you will be talked about after you are gone "Dekha!!! Mushtandaa kahin ka.. khaaya piya aur dakaar bhi nahin maari". FYI, burp is called Dakaar in hindi, maybe because of the deep abdominal sound when you burp.

Why you should "Dakaar":
1. Good for health.
2. You are complementing the cook\host. I am going to suggest Pal Dhaba and Tehal singh ka dhaba (famous desi eating places in chandigarh) to use burp as a tool for customer feedback the way Pizza Hut uses a bell .
3. Controlling a burp is bad.. hawaa nikal rahi hai toh kahin na kahin se toh nikalegi, burp is still better than other alternatives.
4. You Burp when you are out eating with frenz, analogous to "cheers" when you are drinking, indicating that I had a good meal and you guys are awesome for getting me here or coming here with me.

Better analogy for burp is when you say "Tu mera best fren hai" after you are down 4 Patialas. 'I am drunk and happy' that is what it means when you say that to me when you are drunk. Similarly, Burrrrppp!!! Majaa aa gaya aaj toh, I am stuffed and happiest man on earth.

And lastly, you want to burp and let me burp if you are my best friend. This is an important part of culture and we are kinda losing it thanks to all the "westernization" and I am committed towards keeping it alive.

BTW I am from Rajasthan and we are supposed to grow big moooch (moustaches) and when we are done eating, there is daal dripping from our mooch. Then we take a loud Dakaar and then lick our mooch for the last taste of the gorgeous feast we just had. And then we take another Dakaar to announce that we are done eating and thank you for the feast, it was lovely of you and also please stop belting those ghee rotlaass from kitchen, we are done and we cant take it anymore. Rajasthanis dont believe that you done eating till you take a burp. When you are done eating, we will request you to eat a lil more. We call it "manwaar". More about manwaar some other day.

The juice of entire post, or lets call it the short version.. Please burp and burp well!!!

Born Petite!!!. ( This word salad I tell you )

Sparingly yours
Deepak

Wednesday, October 3

My perpetual motor design

Oh yeah right .. now I am supposed to write intelligent stuff..  not really .. only in some parallel universe where I am an MBA from some top shot B-school like ISB.. bwaaahaaa.

One random night I am not getting sleep and some random thought stuck me. Random thought about a perpetual motor design. 

Whadafakk is perpetual motor now ?? Every motor requires an input and converts that input into output. No energy is ever created .. only converted from one form to another. You eat food and then you can dance around and you also shit... conversion of something to something. But perpetual motor is one which produces output without any input. One perpetual motor will be one which provides mechanical energy without any electrical or any other energy as input... fair enough ?? so far so good ?? .. ok good.. .

To understand my perpetual motor's design, there are two very important concepts that you need to understand and agree upon - if you dont you would be taken behind a bus and shot in the head. 
1. Murphy's law - If there is anything that can wrong and you are praying that it shouldn't .. it surely would. Think about a buttered toast.. If you were to drop a butter toast and you want to pick it up and eat it, would you want the buttered side to be facing up or down when it falls. Obviously facing up right .. anything but that will happen .. blame it on Murphy's law. That is to say that buttered side of the toast will always fall down!!!!.

2. A falling cat always lands on its paws..  simple enough ?? 


Now what if I strap a buttered toast with the buttered side facing up on a cat's back and then toss the cat.
Would teh buttered toast fall on the buttered side or should the cat fall on its feet... ??? None.. universe will get confused and cat will never fall down and cat will keep rotating in the air.. 

There.. YOU have a PERPETUAL MOTOR right there.. !!!!!!

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