Cheesy geeks?? Ew!

N you thought geeks could never be charming...
N you thought science and flirting can never get along....
N you thought a hot chick with a geek is so not cool...
N you thought tech talks on a date are a strict no no...
huh??
Get a life buttheads!!!
New scientist conducted a contest and they invited cheesiest scientific pick-up lines. Responses poured in from emails as well as snail mail from across the globe. They received thousands of entries .... and boy i never knew these ppl could be so freaking imaginative.

Well, they selected the 10 best and these ppl got the opportunity to see their pick-up lines make way into the glossy pages of New scientist along with cash prize.
I'm sharing these TOP TEN CHEESIEST SCIENTIFIC PICK-UP LINES with you as follows, grow up techies... be yourself, get charming :)

#1. Would there be any resistance if I asked to take you ohm?

Emma Byrne, London, UK

#2. I love the way you smell so different from my dad.

Toshi Knell, Nowra, New South Wales, Australia

#3. Would kissing you increase global warming and damage the Arctic irreversibly, or is it just enough to break the ice?

Andy McCready, Sheffield, Yorkshire, UK

#4. I've had my ion you.

Gary Duffala, Rio Rancho, New Mexico, US

#5. Baby, you must be a start codon because you are turnin' me on.

Jessica Swanson, Stratford, Prince Edward Island, Canada

#6. I don't wish to brag, but in several parallel universes I invented the internet, warned the world about global warming, ran for president and won the Nobel peace prize.

Yonatan Silver, Jerusalem, Israel

#7. Hello, I've just taken part in the clinical trial of a new drug to help memory loss; could you tell me, do I come here often?

John French, Wellington, Somerset, UK

#8. You are definitely the woman of my REM phase.

Giuliano Aluffi, Milan, Italy

#9. Er... hello... um... er. Oh look! Our shoes have similar spectral characteristics.

Jon White, Rampton, Cambridgeshire, UK

#10. Meiosis?

Kirstie Brogan Grace, Grays, Essex, UK

So fellow techies... pick out your favourite amongst these. Now you know wat to say to the girl whom you have beein secretly eyeing since eternity in campus/living across the street/bar. Its your day you blue eyed bastard... rock on!!

N if there are any gals reading this... care for any ethanol or citrus juice sometime with this jerk ?;)

P.S. Hope you liked the post... do punch in your valuable comments. THEY ARE MANDATORY...

OUT-STANDING

In my three years of engineering yet, i'm the only one who can proudly say that i'm the one who got kicked out the most at least in my section if not in department . But more than how many times i have been kicked out, its how n wy i got kicked out is wat is gonna make this post a fun read (hope u agree by the end).

Sometimes you drowsily sit through a lecture and ponder, 'Wat the fuck seriously!! wat is my crazy lecturer upto. Does he think that he/she is making any sense. Wy do we have to attend lectures... wy is 75%attendance necessary (yup, in VIT it is).... Wy did i join this college.... Wy did i chose to be in such a sucky department' n so on and on. N then your stream of thought is interrupted by a shrill voice..."You!! Sleeping eh?? Get out, no attendance". Mix responses swell up in your head... "Good i got kicked out, shit but i already had low attendance. Oh wat crap... m hungry".

So i got kicked out numerous times as i said earlier... but some of them were real fun. I can say i enjoyed getting kicked out :-p. M sharing some of the ones i enjoyed the most n hope you enjoy reading them too.

+ 6th sem, UEE class, Raani mam was taking a lecture (We call her Rounie coz that's how she pronounces her name). She said something silly and i started laughing. N i was laughing out pretty loud pet pakad ke. N you know how it start off with a spark and spreads throughout the jungle, like a contagious disease. Girls started giggling too. Rounie's face became red with anger when she saw me laughing. "You!!, get up and get out of the class" she screamed out with rage.
"Mam who?? me!!" I asked sincerely.
"Ya ME..GET OUT" huh?? confused, she stares at the ceiling.
"No you... Ya you, get out of class" she yelled back trying to regain her composure but still confused.
Everyone broke out in laughter, i inspite of much control could not help a wicked smirk escape out.
"Sorry ma'am" i managed trying to control bursting out in laughter.
"No!! get out, why were you laughing"
"Thank you... ma'am" grabbed my bag n out n in a split second.
Later someone (mostly Kanika) aksed, "You actually said sorry?? I could not believe my ears, how come?". I had to explain that if i had not said sorry i would have burst out in uncontrollable laughter. Truth is my eyes had started watering out of the desperate attempt to control laughter.
Well, for the record, Rounie turned out to be a complete bi#@% by the end of sem and made me to suffer through a lot. I had become her chosen one since the day i got kicked out. This one was fun...

+ This one was in fifth sem, power systems class. The best part being that i was not the only one who got kicked out. I got a beautiful company too. Me n Kanika (Nijhawan) were discussing abt.... guess wat GULAB JAMUNS. Both of us being big time foodies n bored of sleepy lecture somehow stumbled upon Gulab Jamuns to talk about of all the things. N then hamari pyaari lazy football (Cow-salya) saw us talking n aksed us to leave the class. "Why do you come to class when you don't want to study, wy disturb everyone?" she said (that too very lazily...as if she's gonna fall asleep any moment n collapse on the floor right at spot ). We got up n left n decided that we'll go to food court to kill time. I was finishing my assignment. We were talking about our respective crazy school days to pass time. But someone was very restless. "Deepak, kuch hoga to nahin na??" said Kanika very tensed. I tried distracting her, but no faaydaa. "Ma'am bahut gusse mein thi, she won't fail me in internals no??" N she kept on and on. Inspite of all consoling n all she desperation mein messaged her frenz, "M scared yaar, kuch hoga to nahin?".
Later we went n talked to Kowsalya n she said that everyone was talking in class but she snapped when she saw both of us carelessly talking.
So ultimately kuch nahin hua as i knew already....
But evolved the cutest (also the silliest) dialogue of the millenium "Kuch hoga to nahin??" I mimic her and we have a great laugh till date.
This was one time when i could avoid utter boredome after getting kicked out, thanks to Kanika.
If she's reading ... I'll love to get kicked out of class again with you ;-p.

+This one was in first year. I hated maths class. GMS sir took that class .He had such a fucked up name, that he once challenged us that it's near impossible to pronounce his name correctly. He was kind enough to write down his name on board... still we could not. The closest we got to calling his correct name was Guru Murgu Sundar Moorthi Swami or something (I don remember). So he himself suggested that we call him GMS. Anyways, like most of the classes i was drowsing in the class. But Karan was in a fit or something... as if Ramanujan's aatmaa got into his body, he started solving problems in class while i was very comfortably asleep beside him. N then Karan had the brightest doubt ... "Dude, what's cos of pi?". I somehome managed to flinch my eyes the least i could, n tried giving him a dirty look. But i was too sleepy to even do that. "Shut up" i yelled in his ears n my head slumped back on the desk. "Hey you!! Wy were you talking??". Haan.. neend gayab. I sprang up in my seat. "Who me??" i was gonna ask n then i saw it was karan who was taking the heat. "Get out" he yelled. "And you too... get out" he continued with same intensity pointing at me. Waah!! i felt.
Anyways we shamelessly grabbed out notebooks n dashed out. We were sitting in FC. I was still mad at Karan mostly for waking me up than getting me kicked out... kitne araam se so rahaa thaa.
Later when the class got over, we were walking with frenz and i was mimicking GMS..."Get out... yes you too... haha" i mimicked. N someone put a hand on my shoulder... "Kaun hai be". I turned back n then all the blood drained out off my face. Lo!!! it was GMS. "Haan.. you were kaapying (Copying) me yaah" he said with a delusive freindly smile. OMG... wat shit.
Later we met him somewhere n apologised.
"I had even given you attendance even after kicking you out of class... but you should not have copied me." he said very disappointingly.
But nevertheless, he forgave us n later we even got pretty freindly with him. Since then his classes were the once in which i never slept ... n infact started enjoying.

So these were few times i enjoyed getting kicked out. Tho there were numerous other times when i got lucky (got kicked out i mean) but these were some of the best. Hope you find them funny enough... do drop in comments. Share some of your similar adventures (or should i say misadventures)if you please to.

Getting kicked out of lectures will be the thing i'll miss the most after i finish my four years in college... I have one more semester left to attend lectures. N i pledge to make the best of it ... and to get kicked out as many times as i can ;-p.

Ever got jitters what to talk abt in parties n llikewise??? This is for you then

This is a book review of a sexy book i got my hands on this summer by accident... Its called "How to talk to anyone" by Leil Lowndes. I'm a sucker for watching TV and all that and so get pretty bored in vacations at home generally (Besides eating good food n spending time with parents n all that blah blah...) n so i ended up reading this book in utter boredome n desperation. Though the first thought that came to my mind after reading the title.. "Huh!! that's not for me, i don't need it". But trust me ppl, read it and then u might be forced to think the other way round.

As such i never found it difficult to talk to ppl but in this book i found some amazing tips. Some of the tips i had been using by myself for long. I was amazed at how author had very objectively and lucidly described them into techniques summarizing each in one small paragraph each . I could also realize I had been making some pretty obvious mistakes while getting into conversation with ppl (Obviously they seem obvious now… silly). Well let me tell you, in spite of all skepticism about how useful the book is gonna be, I was hunting for a novel when starting for vacation on my way to home to read during travel n I stumbled on this. Now I’m happy I picked it up. It was such an amazing read. Now getting more objective to wy I liked this book so much:

Firstly, the book is divided into numerous but small chapters each containing a small conversation technique in the end to sum up. Author has very elegantly used anecdotes n real life experience for you to get the hang of being an amazing conservationist… otherwise I’m sure the book would have sucked. Examples are what makes it such an interesting read. Also author has used beautiful analogues n fantastistic clichés. For example author compares the process of conversation with a game of ping pong – “The conversational ball goes back and forth. First you speak, then your partner speaks, you speak, back and forth.” Howzat?? Idea being that when u return the return ball u leave enough room for your partner to return it back to you comfortably (metaphorically). I.e. while talking to someone you have to strive to keep it alive and never put your partner in an uncomfortable position… uncomfortable enough to make him/her zip up. Never smash … never say something so blunt or uncomfortable that your partner finds it difficult to think of a response and thus bringing your conversation to an abrupt halt. A No no… completely.

Then there are techniques which are wonderfully and very thoughtfully framed to help zombies. Some examples:
+ How to make others feel you are credible – avoid fidgeting.
+ How to make others think you are intelligent – Sticky eyes. Make direct eye contact with people while talking at all times.
+ How to win hearts – Respond to inner infants in others. Treat other ppl like grown up infants.
+ How to start a conversation with a stranger?
+ How to be a master of smart talks?
+ How to avoid sounding like a jerk?
+ How to aks someone where they live or what they do?? – Never naked.
+ How to use your eyes to make someone fall in love with you - ???. Common sucker read it yourself. Enough already
This was just a small peek into the print, there’s 92 of such techniques. N all of them rock.

So guys n gals… grab it n give it a shot. I’m sure you’ll love it. Nevermind even if you forget to thank me after that. Some lucky ones can even borrow it from me. It’ll be my pleasure if you read it n shared my views about it. N there are people I know who desperately need this book. Strong recommendation, read it.. u’ll find it is such an amaizing read.

Keep checking this page for more soon… coming up next is probably a film review. Aamir of Sarkar Raj…. Ting ting.

N happy monsoon to everyone… don’t miss getting drenched. U are a wuss if you do...

What if???

Its interesting to think what would have happened if things were not the way they are presently... but were slightly twisted. Try it... results are amazing.

FOr example i stumbled upon this very interesting question and the result which i could derive was pretty intriguing. What would have happened if human life on earth was based on silicon instead of carbon. Hmmmm.... lets see.

We inhale oxygen and base of our life form being carbon, we exhale carbon dioxide as carbon that we consume as food (most of it is some or other form of glucose which is a compound of carbon hydrogen and oxygen) is combusted in our body to derive energy. Now let yourself go haywire for a moment n imagine if silicon was base of life form instead of carbon. One very interesting aspect being what you exhale. Carbon based life form will exhale carbon dioxide which fortunately is a gas but for silicon based life form... ting ting.

A silicon based life form must inhale oxygen as we do but should exhale dioxide of silicon i.e. silica which is solid. So silicon based life form will exhale out silica in form of powder of bricks of silica. Nice... imagine sand pouring out of your nose. Or better you popping out a brick of silica out of your mouth every 2 minutes. Nice na...

Then probably you can imagine your house being made out of silica bricks that you exhaled.... lol. "THis is my house... made it out of my own poop" you can say then.

The possibilities are never ending. Though it is impossible to have a life form based on carbon on mother earth... still its interesting to go haywire once in a while.

IF YOU THINK YOU CAN ADD MORE TO SUCH HAYWIRE IDEAS... PLEASE DROP IN SOME IN COMMENTS....

tHInK TwiSTeD.... ;-p