the rowdies 5.ow!!!

MTV roadies 5.0... Bakar (read stupidfuck) goes international.

I fished this out from roadies ka original website... there's a forum dedicated to raghu. Some maniacs keep it alive. Read it just for the love of language:

+ how i attained next roadies interview (whatever i say i do!!!!!)
hello sir me Brahmananda Samal and i want to live roadies life. can i know when you will find your next roadies after roadies 5.0 . so please mail me and definately i will go for inerview and will live as roadies. can i get your canact number please. Don't think that i will negotiate with you for me to be a roadies. No i am not that kind of boy. i think what you want in a roadies and what your aim to make someone roadies that i will complete. bye take care. Raghu Bhaiya.

Here's another one...

+ i wanna next rodies
hi,
sir i want to be part of rodies not beause this is more popular in all over world beause this is right way to show myself best and what i am looking for, so tell me when next rodies happen, i hope u will read this give me right information, thinking you sir

Stop laughing re.... never hurt a roadies fan ke "scent-iments"

Roadies .. apparently India's longest reality show. Only ppl who are tough, cool and adventurous can be on this show (really??). Let me elaborate... roadies live on different part of planet. These words don't mean what they generally do to other ppl like you n me... losers, suckers n wusses. For a roadie
cool means having a fake accent, wearing jeans below their a$$holes
tough means rough n rude, innovative at abusing
n adventurous means having casual sex (for chicks) n being a jerk enough to blackmail enough your ex (for guys).



Roadies audition - thousands of people gather outside audition halls. They filled up forms and were led into GD rooms. Interestingly though not a single soul was interested in group discussion. It was like mass screaming workshop. It was a competition to see who can shout more, whoever does gets the cake (metaphorically) i.e. passes on to round 2.



Round 2 you get to meet a baldy villian and a sad VJ. They have some issues... maybe they suffered from mother's attention deficiency syndrome (M.A.D.D.) when kids. They make participants to do stuff which otherwise wud be thought of as embarassing. Roadies should be able to stand on their head, act like angry gorillas and so on. Raghu takes special interest in love life of participants. Maybe it helps in analyzing mental compatibility of participants... (huh nice!!...). He presses them for details till they are demented. After all this, they start abusing them. Nikhil starts acting like a gorilla, shouts at times and likes throwing around cold drink bottles. Raghu on the other hand is much classier. He grabs them by collar and abuses them right in their ears. Unfortunately most of it is beeped. They have arranged for someone to press profanity buzzer (read to sound a beep) whenever Raghu goes off board. The TRP ratings of the show increases exponentially with the no of beeps in each episode ironically.



After all the mishandling n abusing across the country, 14 people were selected to be on the show. They are supposed to do some tasks while on a roadtrip across the country. Yuk!! sounds boring... doesn't it ? So they script the episodes and make participants to bitch at each other's back. Girls can tug each other's hair if they want n call each other sluts, bitches n whatever else is applicable. Guys n can punch each other otherwise calling each other Bhen&^$^# and Madar&^$%# will also suffice. Then there's chemistry between guys n gals, guys n guys, n gals n gals.. ha cant think of any other combination. Participants vote out each other until n likewise till there's only one left.

There are no rules for the game... Whatever The baldy says is the rule.

Take a tawa (frying pan)... cut small peices of amazing race, grate some fear factor, add extra spice n salt and deep fry. Lo!! you got roadies. Nothing really innovative about tasks participants are to perform.

Nevertheless... after the participants have proved their mettle across india, n even abroad this time (yup... next time roadies international venue - Euthopia, Zambia and Phillipines) emerges one real roadie. He gets to take away a bike and some cash. Later he can work in a chinese restaurant or open up a dhaba or open tea/paan stall. How Kewl!!!. [for the record 4.0 winner is working as chef in chinese restaurant n the rumoured winner of 5.0 supposedly wants to open a dhaba].

By the time i finished drafting this... roadies 5.0 came to an end. Winner's dad died of heart attack the same day out of excitement. Found it funny... thought should share with u.

Giving it a thought... where are those days when ppl used to read to kill time. N then came the idiot box. Still there were times when it helped educate ppl along with help them kill time... But now we compromise on our regular chores to sit in front of this idiot box. There's a whole new generation coming up which eats, sleeps, craps in front of TV. They'll be called tube junkies....

Salute to the advent of this new era, noone should ever get bored said God n descended on earth a television. Then there were television series like roadies...

Long live roadies.... who does not want some cheap entertainment

Insanity redefined...

21 yrs of my life (ya m not 16 any more) i met so many ppl... n some i thought were pretty insane. But then i met this guy... Manoj Sharma.

I was in Baroda last summers for training n there i met Manoj. Well, formal introduction... He works for Indian Oil Corporation Limited, Barauni - Baroda (same company as my dad's), Instrumentation engineer, manufacturing department. Anyways there are legends about him... here are some.

We met first at Brahma's. Sachin came over with a bottle of vodka. "Arre, wy didn't you temme earlier, main aayaa ek minute mein" and with this Manoj dashed out n few minutes later he was back sporting a t shirt which said "Vodka - connecting people". He became more n more interesting as alcohol got absorbed in his bloodstream. Few pegs later he didnt have much idea wat he was talking about (as if he did at other times... ). Piyush did not drink but used to hang out anyways n gave us company with a sorry bottle of coke. We urged him to have one small peg but as we expected, he refused. N then Manoj had to say something ... "Yaar piyush, sahi hai tu pita nahin hai. Ekdum gandu cheez hoti hai... pata nahin log kyun peete hain". That was when i got the feel how it wud be to hang out with this guy.

He got his house go up in flames once and later almost got it drowned... read on.

After dinner Sachin n i walked upto his quarter just to drop in a hi. But we see that there's water pouring out from a pipe from his balcony (he lived on first floor). Everyone in that block is standing out... faces red n nostrils flared. "Do you know where is manoj?" enquired someone who unfortunately resided in quarter just below manoj's. "You know there's water seeping into my kitchen. Manoj probably didnt care enough but he has left a tap open somewhere in his quarter. My wife can't cook you know... wat is this yaar. This is not the first time this is happening. Tum abhi call karo use". "Oh" sachin replied with a naughty grin (he always had that on his face... even while he was sleeping. Probably it was a facial defect). We call manoj to discover he's watching a movie in inox...
"arrey seems like your quarter is flooded, did you keep a tap on or something"
"Kya malum yaar... wy do you care."
"Everyone in your block is gonna kill you... come back A.S.A.P"
"Mad or wat... do you realize i bought movie ticket for 150 bucks.. do i look like i'm gonna come back for that"

Everyone heard that... sachin was kind enough to put the call on speaker.
After that manoj tried calling some of his frenz who allegedly had spare keys to his quarter but amazingly all of them had lost it.
Manoj's neighbours were no less than dragons today... but nevermind. Manoj returned at 11 in night after finishing his movie. Heard later that he had some interesting conversation with his neighbours till 1 AM.
Manoj tried explaining to his neighbours that he was doing dishes last night (liar!! he was too lazy to cook at home... he ate in bachelor's mess. wat dishes??). And apparently tap ran out of water n he left the soiled dishes n probably might have forgotten about turning off the tap.
There was water everywhere in his quarter... you could see things floating around in his living room. Amazing scene... Manoj was sweating managing the flood n sachin was busy taking snaps from his camera. Rare moments... say jeez.

Then there's the legend about him when he got his quarter up in flames. He was a big time smoker, 6-7 packs/day were usual. He liked to lie in his bed like a lazy buffalo n fagged, blowing jets of white smoke on the face of his brand new AC (thank god ACs cant get cancer..) while switching channels watching exactly nothing. He had put a small carton by the edge of his bed. He was too lazy to go buy an ash tray or even a trash bin for that matter. He used to put out his buts on table n threw the buts into carton. Table's sun-mica top had cigg burns all over n when his parents visited him he explained his mother (abt the table n its fucked up top) that on diwali nite he had put diyas onto the table n accidentally he spilled oil n it caught fire... how smart that one?. Anyways one fine evening as usual he had his last cigg before dinner n went off to mess. Moments later he gets a call from sachin "Tere ghar mein aag lagi hai shayad". U could see flames thru the glass panes of his window. Manoj - "Yeh koi mazaak karne ka waqt hai, ruk jaa m having my dinner... wait outside my house i'll be there in 5 mins". By the time he came back half the colony was there below his quarter watching it cough out thick black smoke out of one of the ventilators.
Later, when the fire was put out it was quite a scene in there. His computer monitor had melted half way. His washing machine had bulged coz of the heat like a pregnant lady's belly. His refrigerator had become pale yellow. Walls n ceilings were covered with black soot n couch was non existent now except for some rags n burnt wood. Tho the bedroom survived fire. For the record, he still has that computer with half a monitor. He still uses that refrigerator n washing machine.

He always adressed me like "Oye hero" whenever we bumped into each other. But i knew better... i later discovered he could never remember my name.

We once made him treat us desserts at a 4 star restaurant. It so happened that he was getting desperate to go buy himself a pack of ciggs as he had run out of them. We told him the fastest way out of the restuarant was if he cleared the check. N guess he did...

Last day of my stay at baroda he comes to my house hands me a gunny bad full of stuff "keep this... i'll take it back later, or just do away with it. My parents are coming tomorrow". Later i was to discover that gunny bag had a bottle of whiskey, magazines n lot of dvds. I had no way of finding out wat was in those dvds as i didnt have a comp there then, but you must have guessed it already. My farewell gift to Bhramha was a bottle of whiskey n some dvds.

An yr later after my training i.e. yesterday i visited his profile on orkut n arrived to a startling revelation.. HE GOT MARRIED. I congratulated him in his scrapbook n sent him a teaser "Seeing you married and happy is reassuring... if you got married then maybe even i can find myself a gal... lol"

Duck everyone!!!!

This is one incident that i'll probably never forget.... read on

I was in 9th standard i guess n i always used to hang out with my seniors from 10th. We were a gang of half a dozen boyz. One of them was vijay n the amazing part being that his dad was pretty cool about him taking out his car for a spin... golden special edition zen. He was notorious in the whole colony for his rough driving. He could make that cute little car skid, screech n all that. All n all he had roughed up his car so much that i'm afraid i would not be able to do justice trying to describe it.

One fine evening he came to pick me up at my home. I saw Ali, Varun, Sarkar, Bhaskar were already in n finally after much hesitation i hopped in. Now to be technically exact we were circling around the colony coz we didnt have any other job anyways n it was vijay's god forsaken perogative. Sarkar got bored n lighted a cigarette (big time nicotine junkie he was one).

My english teacher Mrs. Komalavali (that's her real name trust me) used to live on one peaceful corner of the colony. It was particularly peaceful there in evenings n she was having her evening coffee with her husband. By the way she was one hell of a genious regarding how she scolded the students everday. We were all scared of her... when she would start lecturing she'll yap till eternity. She'll shout, scream n after sometime your ears will go numb n then it wont matter. You'll be standing with hands at back, staring at your shirt's button making a sorry face as if you were absorbing all that was coming out of her mouth. Anyways wat she didn't know was that a golden zen was gonna zap through right in front of her n then bounce frantically on a speed breaker n when she'll try to see who's inside n she wouldn't see anyone.

Vijay took a tight turn n before we could settle down after that tremendous G-force stopped acting on us we see... Lo!!.. Komalavali ma'am is sitting in her verandah sipping her coffee on this peaceful evening. There was a sudden surge of panic... "Abey komalavali... f*&(*, kal class mein sunaegi pukka". N before sarkar finished saying... all of us ducked down but vijay. N how could he... who wud drive then. "Ya all of you hide your sorry faces below the seats like ostriches n wat i'm supposed to do. I'll also duck. Screw all of you... gaadi jaayegi khadde mein. Sab maroge" shouted vijay. He tried to hide his face but in the effort he missed noticing a bump right ahead. Car bounced on the bump @ say 60kmph. Shock absorbers moaned that day n creeked... N thud karke all our heads hit the roof.

Mostly she had seen us n were pretty sure tomorrow was gonna be a wonderful day. We returned back to out homes with sore head n vijay's car got a hole in one of its leather seats. Sarkar didn't bother abt the lighted but in his hand when he ducked for cover (in case you hadn't figured that out already). Vijay later had to threaten his driver to cook up some story for that.

Next day second hr was english. Here she comes... i was gathering all my strength. I would need it when she starts throwing her verbal darts right in front of all my classmates. N there it was after she placed her purse on teacher's desk "Did i see you yesterday evening ?". "I dont think so... i was back at home with parents. Wy do you ask ma'am". I could see her face turning red.. it might catch fire anytime. Plus she has a volatile brain i knew (metaphorically)."Oh i should meet your parents once... i think. They'll be happy to know whom u roam around with." It went on n on... i'm not sure for how long. When it was over the class was dumbfounded n everyone was staring at me.

The best part being she did accidentally bump into my parents near the shopping complex the same evening. N when dad asked her.. "How's deepak doin with studies in class?". "Na.. he's just fine. Don't you worry" This was all she said with a warm grin.

I miss vijay, ali, varun... n everyone. N lastly even komolavali ma'am... i don believe it that i'm saying this but she was the one of the best teacher i've ever came across.

This one's for her...

My generation

This was an article i wrote last summer at home. To be honest the first article i wrote after i got into college. Btw this was published in my college's souvenier... hope you enjoy reading.
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MY GENERATION

They call my generation, generation x, generation y, generation new, generation now and god knows what not.
My generation is also called irresponsible, careless and called very often as a matter of fact (every day every moment). So what is my generation like??

My generation… Hmm. My generation….
My generation is inspired
My generation is intense
My generation is creative
My generation is hard working

We are not careless… we just care less. We make movies, cars, liquor, buildings, computers and we make them better than people all around the world do (in other countries). We make difference, we make India. The new India.

My generation is beautiful
My generation is sensible
My generation is smart
My generation is rich

My generation does not struggle to survive as our forefathers did. Every day was a struggle to survive… But not for my generation. We know (most of us) that we’ll survive anyways. But we don’t just want to live, we want to live well.
We strive to make India a superpower

My generation is strong
My generation is independent

We have come to realize of our hidden potential. We know we ought to be better off than we already are. We are like dolphins who are rushing to the surface who just realized it needs to breathe; it needs to gallop above water. Others please take notice and applause.

So all said, my generation is invincible. Is it?
No… my generation is confused.
My generation is wasted
My generation is distracted

We don’t know what we want. We lose our way very often. We need other people to show us the way but we don’t know or are not sure that “the way” shown by others is the best for us. We don’t listen… We don’t want anyone to tell us what to do…
My generation is a rebel. My generation…

My generation is jobless
My generation is a mob
My generation is rapist

How many people get the education they deserve? Only 9% of young India consists of engineers, doctors, entrepreneurs… others. They are illiterate farmers, labourers. And a huge percentage chooses to waste itself by being part of mob, petty burglars, thieves, pickpockets and ugly rapists.
My generation listens to music people think is noise, they wear pants low enough to show off their jockeys, Dolce & Gabbana’s. They pay thousand bucks to get hairdo as if they just got up from the bed.

My generation is crazy
My generation is marauder(/s)
My generation is moron
My generation is easy to spoil. It’s easy to make us drink, smoke, do drugs. It’s easy to get us wasted. Just tell us it’s cool.

My generation is wannabe

My generation takes part in petty selfish politics, does strikes, bandhs, burns down shops and buses. Is India already not having enough trouble to progress?
All said, all heard my generation still drives my nation towards progress at a blinding and staggering speed of 8% GDP growth per annum. Because we think we can fly and we try.
With all the questions unanswered… I’ll like to conclude this essay. Leaving u to think, analyze the prospective.

My generation is young
My generation is a pool of fish. But they don’t know where to go. There’s an endless ocean around, full of opportunities, full of dangers. But very soon we’ll figure out where to go and we’ll go together taking nation with us… won’t we?
My generation is bureaucratic
My generation is intellectual
My generation is me…

For smoker brethren...

Stumbled upon this somewhere.... worth reading.

This is wy you should smoke...
+ You will always have something to do with your hands.
+ To avoid headaches later in the day, always have a cigarette first thing in the morning.
+ If you work with explosives, you have a handy method of lighting the fuse.
+ Smoking is a good career move if you want early retirement and would like to use up your sick leave.
+ On New Years Eve you don't have to go out to the fireworks. Just dip your cigarette into a jar of ground up sparklers.
+ Amuse your friends and be the life of the party by blowing smoke rings.
+ Always discard your butts in flower pots and garden beds as it helps fertilise the plants and keeps insects away.
+ Occasional house fires will help keep firemen employed.
+ By buying cigarettes from corner stores, you help support local businesses and help retain the fabric of our society.
+ At the beach, children can use the butts to decorate their sand castles.
+ Annoy neighbours you don't like by staying home and smoking heavily.
+ You will always have a good reason for loitering - "Officer, I'm just having a cigarette".
+ Always smoke when you are pregnant. Your smoking helps the unborn baby prepare for the air pollution in the real world.
+ When your neighbour's kids are too noisy, trigger their asthma by breathing smoke on them.
+ By smoking heavily, you get out of boring work and will have plenty of short breaks during the day.
+ Develop your cool image and fun-loving personality by being a smoker. Non smoking is for wimps and wusses.
+ You will have a good reason to paint the ceilings every three years.
+ Why celebrate world no-tobacco day once a year, when every day can be celebrated as a pro-tobacco day.
+ You will know when it's time to throw out your old lounge suite by the number of burn marks.
Smoking is an adult custom. Add years to how old you look by smoking heavily.
+ If you run out of smokes late at night, help the taxi industry by getting them to deliver your smokes to the door.
+ You can demand more services and benefits from the government because you have paid more in taxes.
+ Help keep the bush fire brigades trained and ready for any emergency by throwing lighted butts from your car window.
+ Keep your weight down by smoking cigarettes instead of eating them.

N ppl say smoking is not good... D'oh. Try at your nearest fag shop today...

I thot of submitting this slogan on world health day but never did.... it goes like:

Why should i care, why should i bother,
Its my lungs that i want to smother.

Hi

hey frenz,
I'm new to blogging but the idea is enticisng. I have written some articles for my college souveniers but was never aware of blogging. Blog is a uncensored unfiltered portal to put up your views. So keep checking out this place for some interesting read every now n then.... happy reading