Beshtesht of jobs...

Most envious jobs ever… Not in the order though.

1. Bartender… mingle with and mix drinks for ppl and gulp down few shots yourself every once in a while.

2. Bouncer… bounce ppl who are trying to tickle your stripper galfren while she is giving it to the pole.

3. Stripper/hooker/gigolo/porn star… No gender discrimination here. Have sex all day and get paid too… its like having your cake and being able to eat it too. But you might have to change ya name … Siren or something like that.

4. Rockstar… do I need to say any more… ppl have written songs how they wanna even cut their hair and change their name … coz they all wanna be big rock stars.

5. Rock band manager… Manage a rock band. Big bucks, groopies and cheap drug and why would u want anything else other than that?

6. Fashion photographer… better if its kingfisher calendar photograph. Travel the whole india and click pics of gorgeous chicks… and get paid on top of that.

7. Author for a runaway hit (to the scale of five point someone”) novel/book … nevermind however sleazy it is.

8. Editor for a magazine… Not competition success review or woman’s review… something as cool as Maxim.

9. Standup comedian… U know u are crazy and good for nothing. Well, all you are good at is making a clown of yourself and laugh on yaself. Better do it on stage and get paid for it.

10. Business Baron… Lot of money to spend on whatever u want. U are in news even if u just sneeze or if your piss/poop is of unusual color. U can be Vijay Malaya and then u can throw parties, make and drink your own booze, wear a funny hat and go to Enrique concert and still ppl would think how cool u are!!!

11. Make ya own social networking site… be it anything, ppl will go at it just coz they are so jobless. Convert their clicks into money…. Simbly jushhht like that.

12. Drug dealer… Get high on the purest of stuff yourself and mix it with baking powder and pack them in small poly bags and sell it. Everyone loves u and needs you… be it an actor, rockstar, sports icon or just a usual drug junkie. One of the quickest ways to become a millionaire provided u don get killed in a gang war or get busted that is.

13. VJ… Blabber the first thing that pops into ya head… talk to ppl on phone in front of camera while they request for their favorite music and dedicate it to their so called loved ones.

14. DJ… Mix and play your own music in hippest of clubs. Work till late and party every night.

15. Psychologist… Listen to ppl talk bout themselves for an hour and charge them 500 bucks just like that. Once in a while fill them up with your psychobabble just to make them feel that u are doing your job.

16. Entrepreneur/Technopreneur… Make something new and hire ppl to work under you. Set up your own company and then sell it off for million dollars and retire at age of thirty and sit and eat for rest of ya life.

17. Game tester… Go to work in shorts… play all day on game console and get paid big bucks for it. How that one huh?

18. Open ya own engineering college… Stuff it with kids and charge them big bucks for anything and everything. Then u’ll be “vishawanathan” of your own world.

19. Yoga guru… Learn to inflate and deflate your belly and try to churn it if you can. Voila!!.. u are a yoga guru and you can cure ppl of any disease… even homosexuality.

20. Comic strip/graphic novel writer… Make your own comic strip like spider-man, shaktimaan or even Savita Bhabhi if u are into that kinda thing. Who knows u might me signed up soon by a movie studio to make ya comic into a movie. Talking of which… when is movie on Savita Bhabhi gonna come out… ???

All said and done… being jobless is still the best job ever. So much so that I’ve perfected the art doing nothing the whole day and OMG it feels good…

Merrily Jobless!!!

Firstly… I apologize for not posting for so long. I was too lazy to come up with anything to post. Been missing my college and frenz. M bored at home waiting for TCS to call me… so much that my boredom is eating me up.

Meanwhile I attended my convocation… so m a certified engineer now. Certified that “I don’t know nothing”. Convocation was wild though… drank and smoked pot and apparently passed out. Was majorly hung over even on my first and possible the last convocation… How that one?

But being jobless has its own merits. I don think I’m ready to work yet. M not ready for a 8 to 5 job yet. I m looking forward to having more fun in life before being type casted as a boring professional sulking and sucking up a job… cribbing how uneventful my life is… NO… not yet. But I don wanna study anymore either, at least for now. Know wat… I wanna take up a course in bartending. LOL… lets come back from wonderland.

Coming back to being jobless having its own merits… How?

1. U can get up whenever u want.

2. U can have breakfast any hour of the day… who gives a shit.

3. Eat home cooked food and get obese. Boi u gonna starve later…

4. Try your hand at cooking.

5. Travel as much as you want. Go to places u have never been to, with frenz or parents.

6. Get in the best shape ever… work out, play and sweat.

7. Watch TV… u’ll never be so bored to sit and watch stupid shows on idiot box all day.

8. Care not to miss a single movie in theatre.

9. Take up new hobbies… like growing beard, visiting dermatologist or reading erotica.

10. Even write a blog on how u are enjoying being jobless. Even more so… you could read one on the same… Gotcha ;)