Insanity redefined...

21 yrs of my life (ya m not 16 any more) i met so many ppl... n some i thought were pretty insane. But then i met this guy... Manoj Sharma.

I was in Baroda last summers for training n there i met Manoj. Well, formal introduction... He works for Indian Oil Corporation Limited, Barauni - Baroda (same company as my dad's), Instrumentation engineer, manufacturing department. Anyways there are legends about him... here are some.

We met first at Brahma's. Sachin came over with a bottle of vodka. "Arre, wy didn't you temme earlier, main aayaa ek minute mein" and with this Manoj dashed out n few minutes later he was back sporting a t shirt which said "Vodka - connecting people". He became more n more interesting as alcohol got absorbed in his bloodstream. Few pegs later he didnt have much idea wat he was talking about (as if he did at other times... ). Piyush did not drink but used to hang out anyways n gave us company with a sorry bottle of coke. We urged him to have one small peg but as we expected, he refused. N then Manoj had to say something ... "Yaar piyush, sahi hai tu pita nahin hai. Ekdum gandu cheez hoti hai... pata nahin log kyun peete hain". That was when i got the feel how it wud be to hang out with this guy.

He got his house go up in flames once and later almost got it drowned... read on.

After dinner Sachin n i walked upto his quarter just to drop in a hi. But we see that there's water pouring out from a pipe from his balcony (he lived on first floor). Everyone in that block is standing out... faces red n nostrils flared. "Do you know where is manoj?" enquired someone who unfortunately resided in quarter just below manoj's. "You know there's water seeping into my kitchen. Manoj probably didnt care enough but he has left a tap open somewhere in his quarter. My wife can't cook you know... wat is this yaar. This is not the first time this is happening. Tum abhi call karo use". "Oh" sachin replied with a naughty grin (he always had that on his face... even while he was sleeping. Probably it was a facial defect). We call manoj to discover he's watching a movie in inox...
"arrey seems like your quarter is flooded, did you keep a tap on or something"
"Kya malum yaar... wy do you care."
"Everyone in your block is gonna kill you... come back A.S.A.P"
"Mad or wat... do you realize i bought movie ticket for 150 bucks.. do i look like i'm gonna come back for that"

Everyone heard that... sachin was kind enough to put the call on speaker.
After that manoj tried calling some of his frenz who allegedly had spare keys to his quarter but amazingly all of them had lost it.
Manoj's neighbours were no less than dragons today... but nevermind. Manoj returned at 11 in night after finishing his movie. Heard later that he had some interesting conversation with his neighbours till 1 AM.
Manoj tried explaining to his neighbours that he was doing dishes last night (liar!! he was too lazy to cook at home... he ate in bachelor's mess. wat dishes??). And apparently tap ran out of water n he left the soiled dishes n probably might have forgotten about turning off the tap.
There was water everywhere in his quarter... you could see things floating around in his living room. Amazing scene... Manoj was sweating managing the flood n sachin was busy taking snaps from his camera. Rare moments... say jeez.

Then there's the legend about him when he got his quarter up in flames. He was a big time smoker, 6-7 packs/day were usual. He liked to lie in his bed like a lazy buffalo n fagged, blowing jets of white smoke on the face of his brand new AC (thank god ACs cant get cancer..) while switching channels watching exactly nothing. He had put a small carton by the edge of his bed. He was too lazy to go buy an ash tray or even a trash bin for that matter. He used to put out his buts on table n threw the buts into carton. Table's sun-mica top had cigg burns all over n when his parents visited him he explained his mother (abt the table n its fucked up top) that on diwali nite he had put diyas onto the table n accidentally he spilled oil n it caught fire... how smart that one?. Anyways one fine evening as usual he had his last cigg before dinner n went off to mess. Moments later he gets a call from sachin "Tere ghar mein aag lagi hai shayad". U could see flames thru the glass panes of his window. Manoj - "Yeh koi mazaak karne ka waqt hai, ruk jaa m having my dinner... wait outside my house i'll be there in 5 mins". By the time he came back half the colony was there below his quarter watching it cough out thick black smoke out of one of the ventilators.
Later, when the fire was put out it was quite a scene in there. His computer monitor had melted half way. His washing machine had bulged coz of the heat like a pregnant lady's belly. His refrigerator had become pale yellow. Walls n ceilings were covered with black soot n couch was non existent now except for some rags n burnt wood. Tho the bedroom survived fire. For the record, he still has that computer with half a monitor. He still uses that refrigerator n washing machine.

He always adressed me like "Oye hero" whenever we bumped into each other. But i knew better... i later discovered he could never remember my name.

We once made him treat us desserts at a 4 star restaurant. It so happened that he was getting desperate to go buy himself a pack of ciggs as he had run out of them. We told him the fastest way out of the restuarant was if he cleared the check. N guess he did...

Last day of my stay at baroda he comes to my house hands me a gunny bad full of stuff "keep this... i'll take it back later, or just do away with it. My parents are coming tomorrow". Later i was to discover that gunny bag had a bottle of whiskey, magazines n lot of dvds. I had no way of finding out wat was in those dvds as i didnt have a comp there then, but you must have guessed it already. My farewell gift to Bhramha was a bottle of whiskey n some dvds.

An yr later after my training i.e. yesterday i visited his profile on orkut n arrived to a startling revelation.. HE GOT MARRIED. I congratulated him in his scrapbook n sent him a teaser "Seeing you married and happy is reassuring... if you got married then maybe even i can find myself a gal... lol"