Flying High.... [part I]

Personally speaking, I’m not very fond of flying as a mode of travelling. As soon the craft reaches some respectable altitude, all you can see out of window is ocean of snow white clouds. Might look enticing for some time, but then you get bored of it. But taking a flight back home from college saves me the pain of travelling for 50 hrs by convention (train I meant). So wat do you do when you board a flight??.

Hmmmm…. Lets see. You can first curse the crappy leg space… then you can try to check out air hostesses only if you are travelling by kingfisher or jet, otherwise you gonna get so disgusted with your own fucking self that you will think that god was so cruel to have given you the ability of vision. After that you might try to check if any seat pockets within arms’ reach sport any in-flight magazines. Otherwise you can read the safety manual, I always found it funny. Even safety demonstrations are fun though frustrating. I used to mock them when at times my dad allowed me to drive the car in city in spite of not being very sure that I can cope with such traffic where humans and cows loaf around the road in harmony. “There are two emergency exits in front and two at back” I used to say pointing at doors of car while sitting in the driver’s seat when my dad asked “Pukka you can drive na? Traffic is pretty shitty ”.

By the way did you ever know wy you have oxygen masks in flights? Ow!!! How silly…. To help breathing at high altitudes you might say. Go ahead, pat yourself but you missed a hidden objective. Clinical oxygen is known to make its inhaler feel giddy and euphoric. So… you might not be feeling so pathetic when flight commander announces that he has lost control and they are going down.. Ting Ting. I just knew this and I thought should share with all of you… might help make you feel safer next time you board a flight. And by the way once out of sheer boredom and curiosity I tried to find where was the safety jacket under my seat as the safety manual promised, but I never found one. After that I never looked for it ever again, but I learned swimming last semester tho… just in case you see. Who knows?? But don’t you worry, flights are probably the safest mode of transport… the best part is that it is almost as probable, that u’ll find yourself in Kandhar with some very friendly looking ppl sporting a monkey cap and holding a dagger/AK-47 trying to entertain you and waiting for you to break out into a giggle (Hope you remember this particular hijack drama at new years eve if not others) looking forward to have a new year bash with you, than discovering that the plane is nose-diving straight towards a mountain cliff.

Anyways if you finish with reading safety manual too… pops up the same old million dollar question. Wat do I do now? Now comes my favorite part, look around for ITEMS around you. I was referring to interesting people, they are often called item in international lingo … and dare you ask why… go ask Mallika Sherawat, the item girl… huh!!. There might be a dehaat travelling two seats away or there might be a wannabe chick somewhere around trying to show off her laptop unaware that her lipstick is spilling out, in fact it’s everywhere except her lips. I have had amazing experiences travelling once with a guy who was talking for an hour or so telling me how he always travels in a private jet and is travelling in economy this one time out of some majboori. And once with a guy who was trying to dig his way into Baskin Robbins ice cream served in-flight equipped with forks and spoon. The poor guy struggled for 10 minutes with all his persistence and perseverance. Others simply waited… like fools.

To be continued...