Flying high.... [part II]

So as you read in the previous post it’s always fun travelling in a flight for me. This time also something hilarious had to happen just like every other time. Travelling along with me were two friends Manjul and Shanky. We had booked ticks from Bangalore to Ahmadabad, Deccan airways.

We discover when we arrive at Bangalore that the old airport has been closed down. The new one was 42 kms away. We ended up paying 450 bucks to the autowallah like stupidfucks unaware that we could have taken airport bus service shuttling between Bangalore railway station and airport. Bah!! Come on, who wants to travel in an AC Volvo bus when you can travel in auto smelling fresh tobacco emanating from ITC tobacco farm alongside the road with all the leisure you can imagine as auto drags past the heavy traffic. Manjul took the liberty of taking a nap too. Travelling with him is such a delight. He’ll sit beside you and yap to his glory but as soon as train/plane/bus or whatever starts, Lo!!! He’s asleep. After you minutes you realize… Manjul ain’t talking any more. Anyways somehow we get through all the security checking and into the flight, we are acknowledged by an airhostess. She had curly hair, shoulder length sporting a red skirt and a crisp white top. But she had the weirdest of face cuts. A cursory glance at her scared me. I had the same thought surfacing again and again “ Main andhaa kyun nahin ho gayaa use dekhne se pehle”. I could hear a distant sound inside my brain, as if someone smashed hundreds of glasses at a time and all my anticipation that I might see a hot chick as an airhostess shattered into uncountable pieces. For the record, Shashank was already petrified with an episode with a eunuch in train. Somehow they find him very charming and make it a point to touch him on his face “Aye saarukh jaisi shakal hai teri, das rupiya de na”. Shashank will sheepishly pull out a 10 rupee note which he had kept ready in his shirt pocket for this just in case, trying to mask his disgust. Back to the flight, Shashank gives a quick look at the airhostess and his face turns red with fear and panic. He hold my arm n says “Abey, ye bhi das rupiya mangegi to??”. I broke out in laughter.

We take our seats but two seats ahead of us I see a bunch of dehaatis sitting with legs folded, aalti – paalti maar ke on their respective seats. One of them was observant enough to notice that passenger baggage was being loaded. N then he starts shouting “Tauji!! O riya mera bag (that’s my bag)…. Arre thaaro bag to utha utha ke patak riye hain (they are throwing around your baggage)”. I knew then and there that I was gonna enjoy this flight. Plane does a smooth take off n then I and Shashank discover Manjul is sound asleep already, in fact snoring pretty loud. We tried reading magazines and then shelled out more than hundred bucks for the suckiest sandwich we had ever had. We were famished, but nevermind, even after the sandwich we still were. We saw many people had got up from their respective seats as soon as seatbelt signs were withdrawn. They stood in the pathway and were taking special pride in talking as loud as they could. I was feeling as if I was travelling in a roadways bus. Actually you know wat, roadway buses are better. More leg space u see.
Me and Shanky passed time by making faces at kids who had stood up in their seats. Most of them got scared and eased back again in their mom’s lap. Dehaats fell in love with the calling bell, they kept pressing it since the very moment flight took off and even till when flight commander announced that we are gonna land shortly. Minutes away from landing, he apparently wanted a sandwich.

Flight just touched down, and one of the dehaats jolts up out of his seat covering his mouth with a scarf around his neck. “Sir you should be back in your seat” hostess tries. Dehaat managed to do some hand movements to tell her that he wants to puke.
“Sir you should go back to you seat”
“Bawwwwwwlllll!!!” he manages to control his urge to puke on the face of air hostess.
“There is a bag provided at your seat, you can vomit in that”
Dehaat breaks into a run to be back to his seat. Did he make it??
“Baaawwwwwllllll… “and the volcano erupted. There was this unforgettable sight of destruction around. There was puke all over the carpet. Many people got splashes of puke on their shoes. But dehaat had very carefully chosen his primary victim. He puked all over on blazer and trousers of a gentleman. This must have been his most memorable of all flights he had ever taken for his business trips.

Air hostesses and male stewards stood by the exit door to wave good bye.
“Thanks for flying with us”

“Kya than ki ooo laga rakhyaa hai bhe&%$@!$ …. Ulti to karne nahin di” recoils back dehaat.

“Rehne de yaar, baawli hai”. Condolences from his dehaat brethren.

I enjoy travelling and it is becoz of ppl like this that I have so much fun. Next time you out on travel, pull out your ipod earphones and take some time off reading or whatever, and give around a look. Who knows if there are some ITEM log as your co-travelers. You might have an unforgettable experience just like I did.

Anyways Hope you enjoyed reading… thank for commendable patience.
Do post your valuable comments…. You are welcome to share some of your experiences too which you came across while flying.